Profound loss amplifies calls for better training

I was in the car with my children when I first heard the story of Chase, the 15-year-old boy who was shot and killed by police, in Surrey.

It’s deeply distressing to hear this, knowing full well that my kids are recalibrating their worldview. Kids can be shot.

My children sometimes process auditory information more slowly than their peers and may struggle with executive function issues. What do you say to a child who attends a school with a police officer stationed in the hallway, carrying this newfound fear?

To the parents and loved ones of Chase: I am so deeply sorry for your loss. There are no words that can fully capture the heartbreak you must be feeling. From the outpouring I’ve seen, I know many parents grieve alongside you, sharing not only your sorrow but also your anger—anger that this could happen at all, and that concerns and demands for safety are often overlooked until tragedy strikes. Please know you’re not alone—countless families stand with you.

Questions

My kids began asking questions—questions I couldn’t answer and may take a long time to fully understand.

I struggled to put the issue in perspective. Sometimes accidents happen when people don’t necessarily have the right training. It’s rare for a child to be killed. But that’s little comfort.

How to be safe

The conversation turned to what we would do if one of us was having a meltdown and police arrived. We decided to say, “I need medical help” or “I need a doctor.” Tears flowed down my face as I tried to stay calm, keep my eyes on the road, and deliver my kids to school with a silent prayer.

Over the years, I’ve tried to quietly taught my kids how to stay safe around police. Don’t scare them… I know they’ll be very tall, and I worry about them being perceived as a threat if they’re struggling. I’ve heard about parents from racialised families having to do this for generations, but the threat for neurodivergent kids only truly dawned on me when I became a parent.

It makes me furious that so many parents have to worry about these things while meaningful reform is deemed “too expensive.”

Dehumanisation

Unethical punishment and inappropriate use of force exist on a spectrum. It might start with holding a group of kids after class because one was late. But, this is a slippery slope. If we normalise robbing people of dignity, this dehumanisation lays the foundation for escalating harm, where mistreatment is justified and accountability eroded.

Systemic harm

Yes, accidents happen, but they often reflect larger systems ill-equipped to handle complex situations with care and understanding—especially when staff are overburdened, undertrained, and lacking their own support. Our children deserve better. We need more trauma-informed training for law enforcement and emergency responders, alongside increased staffing and fewer overtime hours—because high stress can erode empathy and impact judgment. We need school systems that prioritise de-escalation, not punishment, so that children are less frequently in distress. We need communities that recognise the unique challenges neurodivergent children face and implement policies that keep them safe.

Calls for change

This tragedy cannot be forgotten; it must be a catalyst for change. AutismBC has spoken out following the incident, emphasizing the urgent need for trauma-informed care, better training for first responders, and stronger protections for neurodivergent and non-speaking individuals. They point to the broader issue of inadequate support for autistic youth—especially those who are bright and verbal but struggle with emotional regulation. These gaps, if left unaddressed, can lead to devastating outcomes.

See AutismBC Offers Support and Guidance Amid Community Mourning.

There’s a Go Fund me to support funeral costs for Chase.