Family Experience
Personal stories from families about the impact of collective punishment.
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I brought my lunches in yoghurt containers
I brought my lunches in yoghurt containers—garlicky stir-fries, bright with tamari and heat—and sat beside children with white bread and bologna, quietly learning that normalcy was measured in silence, sameness, and smelllessness. I wasn’t bullied. I was strange. And strangeness, in childhood, is its own kind of exile.
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The devastating impact of collective punishment
This is what collective punishment looks like. It teaches children that their belonging is conditional. It tells disabled students that when they slip up, they will not only be punished, but publicly shamed. And it tells their classmates that inclusion is dangerous—that proximity to a neurodivergent peer puts them at risk.
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Trust undone: how collective punishment breaks the heart of the school
There is a kind of harm we don’t always name. Not bruises. Not bad grades. Not exclusion on paper. It is the slow unravelling of something more fragile—trust. The felt safety between a student and their teacher. The invisible thread between classmates. The quiet assumption that school is a place where fairness lives. Collective punishment…
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Inviting collaboration on repairing trust after collective punishment
A practical guide for educators seeking to repair harm after using collective punishment. If you’ve used collective punishment—like taking away recess from an entire class, cancelling an activity because one student was dysregulated, or using peer pressure to enforce compliance—you’re not alone. These practices are still common in Canadian classrooms. But they cause real and…
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Engineered famine in public education
In British Columbia schools today, we are not facing a behaviour crisis—we are facing a famine of care. This essay weaves together personal memory, systemic critique, and deep empathy for teachers and families alike to ask why our schools are starving the very relationships that children need to learn and thrive. It calls for an…
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This broke me: a parent’s experience of school advocacy
Parenting is not a monolith. Neither is disability. Every family walks a different path, shaped by bodies, resources, identities, and institutions. This piece reflects one perspective—mine—as a disabled parent navigating systemic harm, health collapse, and the fierce love that remains. It is not universal. But it is real. The cost Parenting disabled children is not…
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“I didn’t even do anything wrong”: student voices on collective punishment
Collective punishment in schools often silences individual experiences. Yet, platforms like Reddit provide a space where students share their stories candidly. Below are excerpts from various Reddit threads that illuminate the real-world effects of collective punishment.
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Rethinking accessibility leadership, training, and labour in BC public education
In accessibility work, most transformative insights come directly from disabled people. Lived experience is primary data; manuals and metrics are, at best, secondary literature. In schools, teachers are experts in pedagogy, yet few are trained in disability or neurodivergence. That absence is not incidental—it is engineered, and the consequences are everywhere. The current failure—and promise—of…
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Performative accessibility in British Columbia public education
Too often, accessibility in schools is performance, not practice. Symbolic gestures and endless buzzwords cannot replace the courage to name harm, take responsibility, and commit to structural change. Until then, access plans remain brochures—and inclusion a stage set.
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The politics of politeness: how tone-policing silences parent advocates
When a parent dares to speak plainly about harm—especially when that harm is systemic, ongoing, and inflicted upon a disabled child—they are swiftly met with a familiar response: watch your tone.
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We did everything right, but we were failed
Introducing Robin’s story and the cost of manufactured scarcity In British Columbia, the promise of public education is being quietly dismantled. Not with headlines, not with declarations—but with slow erosion, strategic omission, and institutional neglect.
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You’re not wrong: reflections on motherhood and advocacy
This piece is for the mothers who have become unrecognisable to themselves in the crucible of advocacy—those who perform calm while their bodies tremble with rage, who write polite emails through tears, who scream in the car and smile in the meeting. It is for the women whose clarity was framed as aggression, whose persistence…
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Erased voices: mothers and the schoolhouse
Imagine a mother pleading at a school meeting, desperate for support for her child, only to be met with suspicion. In today’s BC schools, some mothers say they’ve been branded “too emotional” or even unfit for fighting for their kids. Instead of solutions, educators have been known to shift blame onto parents: a BC resource…
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The cost of masking: What we lose when children perform wellness
This evening, I walked my son down the street toward the place where his father was waiting to pick him up. It was an ordinary hand-off on an ordinary day, except I carried that soft, watchful question I always carry now, held quietly in my chest until the timing feels right. I asked if he…
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How to lodge an education appeal in British Columbia
Filing an appeal in the Vancouver School District is not for the faint of heart. It’s like falling on glass slowly. Emotionally draining by design. But for some families, it is the only path left. I’ve filed several myself. Sometimes, my child got a little more support. Other times, I walked away empty-handed but still…
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Regulation isn’t colouring a box: how neurotypical emotion models can harm autistic kids
The Zones of Regulation chart is made of four tidy boxes—blue, green, orange, red—a short list of emotions, each offering the illusion of clarity, simplicity, legibility. It’s a system that looks soft, friendly, and progressive, but that often functions as a mechanism for shaping children’s expressions to fit the comfort and control needs of adults,…
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When they call distress the baseline
When a principal told me, “his baseline is dysregulated,” I realised how far we had drifted from care. This was not a description. It was a dismissal. Distress had become so familiar in the classroom that it was no longer seen as a signal—but as who he was. But my child is not born of…
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Coerced sibling care in public school inclusion
The school saw twins and imagined comfort. What they created instead was coerced care—using my daughter’s body to regulate her brother without consent, without safety, and without repair.
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Disgusted by my advocacy
I have become hyper-attuned to the particular curl of a staff member’s lip, the slight recoil in their chair, the clenched tone when I insist—again—that my child deserves continued support. These micro-expressions, often passed off as stress or surprise or bureaucratic irritation, are not neutral. They are expressions of disgust. And for families like mine,…
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Teacher speaks out on exclusion
An experienced teacher alleges that her school punished her for exposing how it pushes vulnerable students out of class. She claims administrators send students with disabilities home early, force them onto reduced schedules, and isolate them without formal suspension or notifying families. She says that when she reported those illegal, unethical practices, administrators investigated her,…
