Frameworks and tools
This category includes both the institutional tools commonly used in schools — like PBIS, Zones of Regulation, behaviour charts, and safety plans — and the counter-tools developed by families, advocates, and allies. It explores how frameworks shape power, perception, and participation: whose needs are centred, whose behaviours are corrected, and whose values are embedded in the system. From state-sanctioned protocols to radical alternatives, these are the mechanisms through which control is asserted or challenged — and the blueprints we use to navigate, disrupt, or remake the rules.
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IEP goals we actually believe in mostly (even though we wish they didn’t exist)
Let’s get this out of the way: we hate IEP goals !!!! If you’re a parent who hears the phrase “IEP goals” and feels your stomach drop, you’re not alone. Most of us have seen goals that are vague, punitive, performative, or downright absurd. Goals that don’t reflect our children. Goals that seem more concerned…
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Language to start a revolution
Our library of tips offers a concise, alphabetically organised toolkit for recognising and challenging the systemic forces that shape student experiences in British Columbia’s public schools. Whether you’re new to education advocacy or a seasoned ally, this series—spanning the ABCs of engineered scarcity and the ABCs of regressive punishment, with the ABCs of access coming…
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How narcissism and PDA collide in the wreckage of trust
Some children refuse control because control has always felt like violence. Because control has worn the face of love and left behind a residue of shame. Because adults said, “this is for your own good” while ignoring tears, violating autonomy, and insisting that compliance was safety. For these children, especially those with a PDA profile,…
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Introducing the school finder: making it easier to act
If you’ve had more than enough of your child coming home crying due to collective punishment, we have a solution: today, we are launching a new tool designed to help families, advocates, and educators challenge collective punishment in British Columbia schools. The school finder makes it easy to search for your child’s school and take immediate action.…
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The ABCs of engineered scarcity
A learning module for educators, caregivers, and community members resisting austerity logic in public systems. Engineered scarcity operates like a slow haemorrhage, draining public education of the resources it owes every child while masking that attrition behind soothing administrative dialects; this primer sets out to rupture that façade by naming, in alphabetical precision, the tactics…
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Trust undone: how collective punishment breaks the heart of the school
There is a kind of harm we don’t always name. Not bruises. Not bad grades. Not exclusion on paper. It is the slow unravelling of something more fragile—trust. The felt safety between a student and their teacher. The invisible thread between classmates. The quiet assumption that school is a place where fairness lives. Collective punishment…
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Inviting collaboration on repairing trust after collective punishment
A practical guide for educators seeking to repair harm after using collective punishment. If you’ve used collective punishment—like taking away recess from an entire class, cancelling an activity because one student was dysregulated, or using peer pressure to enforce compliance—you’re not alone. These practices are still common in Canadian classrooms. But they cause real and…
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Beyond blame: reimagining discipline in a trauma-informed world
Collective punishment is neither effective nor ethical. It disciplines the group for the actions of one, eroding trust and reinforcing the very dynamics of power and fear that trauma-informed practice seeks to heal. In its place, we need something older and deeper—an approach to discipline rooted in relationship, regulation, and repair. Indigenous teachings and relational…
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Why we built the BC School Districts collective punishment database
When we began writing about collective punishment in schools, we searched for district policies—something public, something clear. What we found instead were Reddit threads and Facebook comments. And where formal documentation did exist, it was buried in long policy PDFs filled with abstract values—fairness, accountability, safe and caring schools—but almost nothing concrete about what happens…
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Engineered famine in public education
In British Columbia schools today, we are not facing a behaviour crisis—we are facing a famine of care. This essay weaves together personal memory, systemic critique, and deep empathy for teachers and families alike to ask why our schools are starving the very relationships that children need to learn and thrive. It calls for an…
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There’s no such thing as unexpected behaviour
This piece was hard to write. It holds my grief. It documents not only what happened to my child, but how systems made it worse by pretending to be surprised. I share it because too many families are made to carry this alone. Every time I see the phrase unexpected behaviour in a school document, a safety…
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How to lodge an education appeal in British Columbia
Filing an appeal in the Vancouver School District is not for the faint of heart. It’s like falling on glass slowly. Emotionally draining by design. But for some families, it is the only path left. I’ve filed several myself. Sometimes, my child got a little more support. Other times, I walked away empty-handed but still…
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Make it weird, meet the curriculum: a parent’s guide to joyful, inclusive PE
British Columbia’s Physical and Health Education (PHE) curriculum emphasises holistic well-being—physical, mental, and social—and recognises that a one-size-fits-all approach can alienate students. Simply providing generic activities without personalisation can be counterproductive if students fixate oqn their weaknesses and develop a negative view of movement or of themselves. The BC framework encourages teachers to respond to…
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Regulation isn’t colouring a box: how neurotypical emotion models can harm autistic kids
The Zones of Regulation chart is made of four tidy boxes—blue, green, orange, red—a short list of emotions, each offering the illusion of clarity, simplicity, legibility. It’s a system that looks soft, friendly, and progressive, but that often functions as a mechanism for shaping children’s expressions to fit the comfort and control needs of adults,…
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On Stuart Shanker’s Self-Reg
I remember the feeling—desperate, hollowed out, shaking in that way that only comes when the world around you is collapsing and everyone keeps handing you checklists.
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A glossary of conditional care
This is a field guide—a survival text for parents who’ve sat through too many meetings where care was promised, repackaged, and quietly withdrawn. These aren’t just phrases. They’re policies. They’re structural violence written in the language of care. They mark the edges of institutional comfort—the places where support ends, and spin begins. They’re the terms…
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How PE class taught us to disappear, comply, and endure
There are classrooms where harm appears visible—where a raised voice or a revoked privilege tells a clear story, where a child’s tears correspond to a policy, a decision, a teacher’s name—yet physical education was a different kind of room. PE held harm in soft cotton and shouted praise. It offered pain disguised as character. It…
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The high stakes of understanding PDA
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) might sound like just another clinical term, but for many families it represents a daily struggle that is anything but trivial. PDA is a profile on the autism spectrum characterised by an extreme, anxiety-driven avoidance of everyday demands, even those the child wants to comply with drdonnahenderson.com reframingautism.org.au. This isn’t mere stubbornness or “bratty” behaviour – it’s a…
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A perspective taking primer for educators
Perspective taking is the disciplined art of stepping outside one’s own cognitive scaffolding and entering, as fully as possible, into the sensorium of another person. It is not sympathy, which radiates concern from a safe emotional distance, nor is it projection, which mistakes one’s own feelings for universal truth. Instead, it is an intentional, methodical…
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How to smell a rat: spotting fake neurodiversity-affirming programs
Not everything wrapped in soft colours and “nervous system” talk is safe. In a post-ABA world—or at least a world where ABA has learned to change its clothes—many school districts, parent training programs, and private providers now claim to be “neurodiversity-affirming.” They use the language of trauma, talk about connection, and sprinkle in phrases like…
