Anxiety
Anxiety is one of the most common—and most misunderstood—experiences in school. It’s often dismissed as worry, avoidance, or overreaction, especially in children who can’t articulate what’s wrong. But anxiety isn’t just a feeling; it’s a full-body state of threat perception, shaped by nervous system sensitivity, trauma, and past experiences of being unsafe, unheard, or punished for being different.
For neurodivergent students, anxiety can be constant. It may show up as school refusal, aggression, perfectionism, meltdown, masking, or withdrawal. But rather than recognising these as signs of distress, schools often respond with behaviour plans, reinforcement systems, or increased demands—all of which intensify the child’s sense of being misunderstood or coerced.
This tag collects resources, stories, and analysis about anxiety in educational settings: how it manifests, how it’s often misread, and what it means to create truly safe learning environments. It includes writing on PDA profiles, panic responses, classroom overwhelm, and the chronic anxiety experienced by families navigating inaccessible systems.
Anxiety is not defiance. It’s not manipulation. It’s not an excuse.
It’s a call to slow down, listen, and change the environment—not the child.
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Collective punishment in schools: global history and harm
Explore the global history of collective punishment: how it has been defined, justified, resisted, and remembered across cultures and time.
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Vancouver School District (SD39) district code of conduct: a neurodiversity-informed critique
The Vancouver School Board’s District Student Code of Conduct (AP 350) is an expansive and methodically constructed document. It commits to fostering safe, inclusive, and nurturing schools; it recognises systemic discrimination, promotes restorative practices, and articulates a detailed suspension framework with multiple levels of review. The document outlines procedural guidance for school leaders, provides template…
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Vernon School District (SD22) progressive discipline and suspension guidelines: a neurodiversity-informed critique
The SD22 progressive discipline and suspension guidelines begin with a clear statement of intent: to maintain a safe, caring, and healthy environment for all members of the school community. They emphasise functional assessment, procedural safeguards, privacy protections under FIPPA, and the possibility of restorative or reparative responses. Formal consequences are structured to follow only when…
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Barriers in the Vancouver school system: a parent’s perspective
For families raising neurodivergent children, navigating the school system can feel like surviving a labyrinth built to exhaust you. What should be a place of growth becomes a terrain of harm and dismissal. Beneath the polished language of equity and inclusion lies a set of invisible barricades—attitudinal, communicative, spatial, systemic, and technological—that quietly erode trust…
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Dr. A.R. Lord Elementary (VSB SD39): a neurodiversity-informed conduct critique
Dr. A.R. Lord Elementary’s Code of Conduct promises a “safe and supportive environment” on school grounds, on field trips, and during online learning. It embraces the Vancouver School Board’s district-wide conduct framework (AP 350), explicitly affirms the BC Human Rights Code, and applies the values of the school’s P.R.I.D.E. matrix—Purpose, Respect & Responsibility, Integrity, Diversity,…
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The slow boil: delayed support and collective punishment
I think a lot about lobsters, wrestled from the sea and placed in cold water that slowly heats—do they wonder if it’s getting hot in there? How do they decide where the line is and begin to panic? Is it a thought or pure instinct? In kindergarten, my son arrived with a history of trauma…
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On Stuart Shanker’s Self-Reg
I remember the feeling—desperate, hollowed out, shaking in that way that only comes when the world around you is collapsing and everyone keeps handing you checklists.
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Few of us remain our best selves in a room starved of air
If you are a parent of a neurodivergent child, you can recite the script before the phone even buzzes. “[Child] had a very good day and really showed leadership with the younger kids” Pause. “But in the afternoon [Child] had some unexpected behaviour. [Child] is waiting at the office.” Praise is meant to help us feel that…
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The days my children cried, and I told them it would be okay
When your trust has already been broken—by people who were supposed to care for you, protect you, believe you—every new betrayal lands like confirmation. I didn’t come to school meetings as a blank slate. I came with a trauma history. So when they dismissed my child’s needs, ignored the signs, or punished their distress, it…
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Every year we start over
We arrive at the school gates each September with anxiety rising in my chest, knowing that the forms, reports, and professional recommendations assembled over years have already demonstrated what is required for my child’s success; and yet, year after year, he steps across the threshold into an environment that has failed to prepare for him.…
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School District 48 (Sea to Sky): a neurodiversity-informed policy critique
SD48 conduct decision flow (simplified) ⚠️ Critical analysis ✅ Strengths ❌ Gaps Neurodiversity lens: how the policy holds up Dimension Assessment Notes Disability justice ✅ Partial Equity and accommodation are mandated, but process and supports unspecified Neurodivergent alignment ⚠️ Weak No mention of executive function needs, sensory regulation, impulsivity, masking, or meltdown management Protection from…
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SJ Burnside Continuing Education (SD61): a neurodiversity‑informed policy critique
SJ Burnside Education Centre is an Alternative Education program serving youth aged 13–18 in a small-group, flexible setting. Its published Code of Conduct emphasises high standards of conduct, honesty, integrity, and cooperation during all school-sponsored activities. It explicitly promotes peaceful problem-solving, community engagement, and maintains a personal device policy (e.g., cell phones may be removed if abused). Student Code of Conduct SJ Burnside conduct decision…
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Rot at the root: Why POPARD must be dismantled from the top down
When I first objected to the strategies POPARD proposed, I tried—truly—to assume good intent: that if I just gave them the right information, the clearest language, the most generous interpretation of their mandate, they would course-correct and stop pushing reward charts onto an already-traumatised child. I wrote careful emails, cited the psychologist’s diagnosis, offered specific…
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Reconciliation demands that we put collective punishment aside
Collective punishment in residential schools did more than punish children—it shattered the bonds between parents and children. For many parents who survived, the fear, shame, and trauma they endured complicated their ability to nurture trust in their own parenting. Emotional disconnection and disrupted parenting Adults who attended residential schools often struggle to form secure attachments…
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Collective punishment: unjust in schools, unjust everywhere
Collective punishment—punishing a group for the actions of an individual—is widely recognised as a violation of human rights. It is condemned in international law, yet it persists in various forms worldwide. From China’s persecution of human rights defenders’ families to Israel’s blockade of Gaza and the Taliban’s illogical governance, collective punishment disproportionately harms innocent people.…
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Shut it down: Why POPARD cannot be trusted to support neurodivergent children
We asked for help.We got a behaviour chart. We invited experts into our child’s life, hoping they would help school staff understand his anxiety, his trauma responses, his fiercely sensitive nervous system. We asked for relational strategies grounded in respect and attunement. We shared research. We named his diagnosis. We explained, in plain terms, what…
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How regressive school policies limit inclusion
On the first day of school, it all looked so promising that it seemed almost too good to be true—the hallway bulletin boards overflowed with vibrant slogans about kindness, leadership, and community belonging, while the principal’s welcome message spoke in glowing terms about student voice, shared responsibility, and the promise of a positive school culture…
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Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)
Pathological Demand Avoidance is a neurobiological profile of autism rooted in anxiety, autonomy, and nervous system threat perception. For children with PDA, even simple requests can register as danger. A question, a suggestion, a cheerful invitation—all of these may activate a survival response, because the child’s nervous system experiences demand as threat. When this pattern…
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What policy says about collective punishment in schools
Collective punishment is never explicitly mentioned in the School Act or BC education policies, but it is made very clear that the system is meant to be fair, accountable, and respectful. The School act states the discipline in schools must be “similar to that of a kind, firm and judicious parent” (Section 76(3)). I consider…
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She’s agonised inside and that doesn’t count?
Much of this unfolded in 2022 and 2023, during a period when my daughter remained undiagnosed as autistic, unsupported in any formal way, and largely invisible to the school system. The patterns described here continue to shape our lives. In this essay, you’ll hear the cautious hope I carried—that a formal diagnosis would unlock the…
