Escalation anxiety
The deep fear that pushing too hard will backfire — damaging relationships with staff or causing harm to the child. Creates a silencing effect on legitimate advocacy.
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She graduated and this is what she learned
On raising a badass advocate, unintentionally. I didn’t set out to raise an advocate—I set out to raise a child. A child who might feel safe in her body and steady in her breath, who might look out at the world and feel drawn toward it rather than braced against it, who might trust her…
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$10K and an NDA
Would 10K and an NDA make the most excellent name for a country song? I didn’t file a Freedom of Information request to stir conflict — I filed it because nothing made sense, and I needed a clue, any thread at all, to understand what had just happened to my family. I call FOIs the…
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Apparently, starving yourself isn’t a serious mental health condition in VSB
There is a kind of harm that unfolds slowly — a hunger that accumulates across weeks and months, tucked beneath the surface of routines and well-meaning systems. My daughter is autistic, has ADHD, and a feeding disorder called ARFID. She eats quietly, cautiously, in ways that make sense to her nervous system. Her paediatrician recommended…
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The bait and switch: What inclusion really looks like at the VSB
Every September, I walk into school meetings with the same cautious hope. We’ve done everything right. The diagnoses are up to date. The IEP is in place. The reports are filed — more than thirty of them over the years, from audiologists, psychiatrists, speech-language pathologists, behaviour consultants, and occupational therapists. You’d think that would mean…
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What would it really cost to fix the problem?
We talk so much about the cost of inclusion—as if it’s indulgent, optional, something that must be justified—but we rarely talk about the cost of exclusion. And those costs are everywhere: in emergency rooms, in overburdened case files, in classrooms where distress goes unseen. When schools can’t support disabled students, families fall apart trying to…
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The ABCs of regressive punishment
Discipline in schools is rarely neutral. For neurodivergent students, it often takes the form of quiet harm—masked as structure, delivered as shame. From exclusion and forced apologies to behaviour charts and the denial of recess, regressive punishment practices remain embedded in our classrooms. They don’t teach accountability. They teach fear, isolation, and the high cost…
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Vancouver School District (SD39) district code of conduct: a neurodiversity-informed critique
The Vancouver School Board’s District Student Code of Conduct (AP 350) is an expansive and methodically constructed document. It commits to fostering safe, inclusive, and nurturing schools; it recognises systemic discrimination, promotes restorative practices, and articulates a detailed suspension framework with multiple levels of review. The document outlines procedural guidance for school leaders, provides template…
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Vernon School District (SD22) progressive discipline and suspension guidelines: a neurodiversity-informed critique
The SD22 progressive discipline and suspension guidelines begin with a clear statement of intent: to maintain a safe, caring, and healthy environment for all members of the school community. They emphasise functional assessment, procedural safeguards, privacy protections under FIPPA, and the possibility of restorative or reparative responses. Formal consequences are structured to follow only when…
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How to lodge an education appeal in British Columbia
Filing an appeal in the Vancouver School District is not for the faint of heart. It’s like falling on glass slowly. Emotionally draining by design. But for some families, it is the only path left. I’ve filed several myself. Sometimes, my child got a little more support. Other times, I walked away empty-handed but still…
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When school discipline undermines trust at home
There’s a problem in our schools. You’ll see it on a child’s face when they come home. You’ll hear it in the way they describe something that left them feeling humiliated, angry, or confused—and often, all three at once. It happens when school staff use discipline strategies that completely contradict the values a student has…
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Rot at the root: Why POPARD must be dismantled from the top down
When I first objected to the strategies POPARD proposed, I tried—truly—to assume good intent: that if I just gave them the right information, the clearest language, the most generous interpretation of their mandate, they would course-correct and stop pushing reward charts onto an already-traumatised child. I wrote careful emails, cited the psychologist’s diagnosis, offered specific…
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Timelines matter
Advocating for a child’s right to an education should not feel like an uphill battle! Yet for some families navigating school exclusion across British Columbia, every step of the process can seem designed to delay, deflect, and deny necessary support. When schools fail to meet the needs of students—particularly those with disabilities or diverse learning requirements—families are…
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Restraint and isolation in British Columbia schools
Physical restraint and isolation—sometimes termed “seclusion”—remain legally unregulated in British Columbia schools, even as provincial guidelines seek to limit their use to moments of extreme risk. Physical restraint is defined as any method of restricting a student’s freedom of movement to maintain safety, while seclusion involves involuntary confinement in a space from which the student…
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Profound loss amplifies calls for better training
I was in the car with my children when I first heard the story of Chase, the 15-year-old boy who was shot and killed by police, in Surrey. It’s deeply distressing to hear this, knowing full well that my kids are recalibrating their worldview. Kids can be shot. My children sometimes process auditory information more…
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From corporal punishment to collective harm: why Section 43 still casts a shadow over Canadian schools
Section 43 still permits “reasonable force” in schools. This blog explores how it enables collective punishment and violates children’s rights.
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What families learn from the inside of exclusion
We weren’t trained for this. We were not briefed, warned, or prepared. We entered the public school system, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, like most parents do—with trust, with hope, and with a belief, however weathered, in the promise that schools would try to do right by our children. What we didn’t understand was how quickly that…
