Neurodiversity
A paradigm shift in understanding learning, behaviour, and support needs—centred on acceptance, not correction.
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If I could: A letter to my daughter before another school meeting
If I could catch you before you fall, I would. If I could make them understand—make them see you as you truly are—I would. You are doing so well, in so many ways. If I could make you feel the pride you deserve, the pride I feel when I look at you, I would. But…
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Galiano Community School (SD64): a neurodiversity-informed policy critique
The 2022–23 Code of Conduct for Galiano Community School is unusually rich in aspirational language. It describes a community of care rooted in mutual respect, emotional development, and responsive teaching. It affirms the BC Human Rights Code, references Positive Behaviour Support, and anchors its behavioural framework in the values of SOLE—Respect and Care for Self, Others,…
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IEP goals we actually believe in mostly (even though we wish they didn’t exist)
Let’s get this out of the way: we hate IEP goals !!!! If you’re a parent who hears the phrase “IEP goals” and feels your stomach drop, you’re not alone. Most of us have seen goals that are vague, punitive, performative, or downright absurd. Goals that don’t reflect our children. Goals that seem more concerned…
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IEP goals that don’t mean ‘don’t be autistic’
Too many IEPs include goals like “will self-regulate” or “will self-advocate”—goals that sound supportive, but often mean “will not disrupt,” “will not need help,” or “will not act autistic at school.” This post explores how seemingly neutral language can become a tool for erasure, and offers concrete, neurodiversity-affirming alternatives that centre support, access, and dignity—so…
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Not everyone gets a slideshow
He should have been graduating too, but he isn’t. After years of support that never arrived, of being punished for distress instead of helped through it, my son left school quietly—while the world carried on with its ceremonies, its slideshows, its celebrations of children who were never forced to disappear in order to survive.
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Why sticker charts fail
Sticker charts and other incentive-based systems promise to motivate children through tangible rewards, yet they too often undermine genuine engagement by teaching students to focus on external validation rather than on the inherent value of learning or participation. When a child’s behaviour is redirected toward earning stickers or tokens, the activity becomes a transaction instead…
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Cariboo–Chilcotin School District (SD27): a neurodiversity-informed policy critique
Cariboo-Chilcotin is one of the most geographically dispersed and demographically complex districts in British Columbia. Spanning small rural towns and remote Indigenous communities—including sites of historic and intergenerational trauma—SD27 faces significant challenges in providing consistent, inclusive, and safe environments for all learners. In June 2024, the Board adopted Policy 390: Safe and Caring School Communities, replacing…
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Maybe tomorrow: reflections on goal post shifting and the economics of access
There were accommodations on paper and endless lip-service meetings. But none of it happened in the classroom. And every time we did what was asked—another intake, another form, another plan—the goalpost moved again. We weren’t asking for miracles. We were asking to be seen as disabled. And instead, we were told to be more positive,…
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No apple pie for you!
School is exhausting when you are autistic. The noise of kids and shouting makes it hard to focus. The bright lights in hallways and classrooms overwhelm me and break my brain. When someone speaks, each word feels like a puzzle I must solve. Sometimes it feels like I’m communicating through a sheet of ice! A…
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“Too much”: on allergy, autism, and the systemic erasure of care
There is a quiet solidarity among parents whose children are considered too much for school. Some of us carry medical kits. Others carry binders of psychological assessments. But all of us carry the same invisible burden: a system that treats our children’s needs as optional—and our vigilance as overreaction. This is the story of two…
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How narcissism and PDA collide in the wreckage of trust
Some children refuse control because control has always felt like violence. Because control has worn the face of love and left behind a residue of shame. Because adults said, “this is for your own good” while ignoring tears, violating autonomy, and insisting that compliance was safety. For these children, especially those with a PDA profile,…
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When energy returns: on finding purpose, refusing silence, and recovering from institutional harm
When I could barely rise from the couch, I believed my exhaustion was depression. Now I see it was the cumulative harm of years spent silencing myself in hostile institutions, suppressing truth to protect my neurodivergent children. The body remembers this violence; it registers as a weight on the chest, a fatigue that resists all…
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What spoons can’t explain
The spoon theory was a revelation once. A metaphor for invisible disability. A way to say: I don’t have limitless energy. Every action costs. But like all metaphors, it eventually failed me. It suggests I have a drawer of spoons to begin with—something measurable, something I can manage. Something that implies I am in control.…
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The ABCs of engineered scarcity
A learning module for educators, caregivers, and community members resisting austerity logic in public systems. Engineered scarcity operates like a slow haemorrhage, draining public education of the resources it owes every child while masking that attrition behind soothing administrative dialects; this primer sets out to rupture that façade by naming, in alphabetical precision, the tactics…
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Arrow Lakes School District (SD10): a neurodiversity-informed policy critique
The Arrow Lakes School District’s Policy 310, “Expectations for Student Conduct,” presents a succinct framework grounded in the language of safety, mutual respect, and orderly environments. It affirms the importance of rights-based protection against discrimination and sets the expectation that all schools will maintain up-to-date, locally developed codes of conduct. It allows for discretion, acknowledges…
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I brought my lunches in yoghurt containers
I brought my lunches in yoghurt containers—garlicky stir-fries, bright with tamari and heat—and sat beside children with white bread and bologna, quietly learning that normalcy was measured in silence, sameness, and smelllessness. I wasn’t bullied. I was strange. And strangeness, in childhood, is its own kind of exile.
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The devastating impact of collective punishment
This is what collective punishment looks like. It teaches children that their belonging is conditional. It tells disabled students that when they slip up, they will not only be punished, but publicly shamed. And it tells their classmates that inclusion is dangerous—that proximity to a neurodivergent peer puts them at risk.
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Sir Richard McBride Annex (SD39): a neurodiversity-informed policy critique
Sir Richard McBride Annex’s Code of Conduct, reviewed June 19, 2024, commits to fostering a “safe and inclusive place for all,” aligning with the VSB District Code (AP 350). It affirms the BC Human Rights Code, outlines community-wide expectations, and recognizes that “special considerations may apply to students with special/diverse needs” when they “are unable to comply… due to having…
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Beyond blame: reimagining discipline in a trauma-informed world
Collective punishment is neither effective nor ethical. It disciplines the group for the actions of one, eroding trust and reinforcing the very dynamics of power and fear that trauma-informed practice seeks to heal. In its place, we need something older and deeper—an approach to discipline rooted in relationship, regulation, and repair. Indigenous teachings and relational…
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This broke me: a parent’s experience of school advocacy
Parenting is not a monolith. Neither is disability. Every family walks a different path, shaped by bodies, resources, identities, and institutions. This piece reflects one perspective—mine—as a disabled parent navigating systemic harm, health collapse, and the fierce love that remains. It is not universal. But it is real. The cost Parenting disabled children is not…
