Toxic positivity

Surface-level affirmations (“He’s so sweet though!” “You’re doing a great job!”) used to deflect or minimize serious concerns. Disarms advocacy by replacing accountability with platitudes.

Fuck your independence dogma

How schools use ‘self-reliance’ to justify abandoning disabled kids. They told me my daughter needed to build her tolerance for the classroom without support. They waxed endlessly about how she wouldn’t want support in high school—ignoring that my daughter had been very clear that she does, in fact, want support. They said it with that…
Anxiety is not an overreaction: why neurodivergent distress demands a different response

There is a kind of anxiety that rises up like a wave—not sudden, not irrational, not the result of faulty thinking or poor coping, but steady, cumulative, and earned. A body that has learned the world is not safe, not soft, not designed for it. A body that has been punished for asking for help,…
Forgiveness, or whatever comes after disbelief

A friend asked me recently why I hadn’t filed more external complaints—human rights complaints, formal grievances, legal action. And it’s true. I should have. There were so many moments where I could have, where I had grounds to. And I believe deeply in the importance of external complaints. I’ve written about them. I’ve supported other…
Not a stick in the mud

When I told another mom recently—someone kind, someone well-meaning, someone whose son used to play with mine back when things were easier—that I was feeling fragile about him being home since March, and that it had all gotten heavier than I expected, she responded gently and said, “Would he like to come over for a…
We shouldn’t be enemies

I took my daughter for a manicure this week. She’s graduating from grade 7. A milestone. A moment that felt almost ordinary—slideshow, applause, plastic chairs, nervous grins—and yet there was nothing ordinary about what it took to get there. Vocabulary for what happened Class change She spent seven months of this school year outside the…
When harm comes from those entrusted to protect

The May 2025 consent resolution involving B.C. principal Pehgee Aranas offers a sobering reminder of the work that remains to make education safe, equitable, and trustworthy for all children—especially those from communities that have been historically harmed by the very institutions meant to support them. When a young First Nations student was physically punished by…
Maybe tomorrow: reflections on goal post shifting and the economics of access

There were accommodations on paper and endless lip-service meetings. But none of it happened in the classroom. And every time we did what was asked—another intake, another form, another plan—the goalpost moved again. We weren’t asking for miracles. We were asking to be seen as disabled. And instead, we were told to be more positive,…
Right to no discrimination

Every child has the right to learn and belong at school without being treated unfairly because of who they are. In British Columbia (B.C.), this Right to No Discrimination means public schools must welcome all students on equal terms, regardless of their race, Indigeneity, colour, ancestry, place of birth, religion, family background, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability,…
Engineered famine in public education

In British Columbia schools today, we are not facing a behaviour crisis—we are facing a famine of care. This essay weaves together personal memory, systemic critique, and deep empathy for teachers and families alike to ask why our schools are starving the very relationships that children need to learn and thrive. It calls for an…
Comparison of Provincial and Territorial rules on collective punishment in schools

Across Canada, policies on student discipline vary widely—but only one province, Nova Scotia, has taken the decisive step of explicitly banning collective punishment in schools. In April 2025, Nova Scotia revised its Provincial School Code of Conduct Policy to require individualised responses to student behaviour, affirming that group-based discipline is not just ineffective but unjust.…
You’re not wrong: reflections on motherhood and advocacy

This piece is for the mothers who have become unrecognisable to themselves in the crucible of advocacy—those who perform calm while their bodies tremble with rage, who write polite emails through tears, who scream in the car and smile in the meeting. It is for the women whose clarity was framed as aggression, whose persistence…
Collective punishment: a focal point of injustice

Collective punishment, the practice of disciplining a whole group for the misdeeds of one or a few, is widely recognised as unjust and counterproductive. Children know it’s wrong Even children intuitively grasp its unfairness. In one famous case, an 11-year-old student in the UK bluntly told her teacher that “collective punishment… is not fair on the…
A neurodiversity-affirming critique of the BC Ministry’s guide to school conduct

The BC Ministry of Education’s guide presents itself as a blueprint for positive school climates. Yet beneath its conciliatory language, it reinforces behavioural conformity and institutional authority over student autonomy. It fails to address the structural and sensory barriers faced by neurodivergent students, and in doing so, undermines its own claims to safety and care.…
Nova Scotia bans collective punishment

Nova Scotia’s Provincial School Code of Conduct Policy underwent a significant update in April 2025, marking a substantial revision of the previous 2015 policy. The updated policy, set to take effect in September 2025, introduces clearer definitions of unacceptable behaviours, delineates new responsibilities for all school community members, and emphasises support for those affected by…
When school discipline undermines trust at home

There’s a problem in our schools. You’ll see it on a child’s face when they come home. You’ll hear it in the way they describe something that left them feeling humiliated, angry, or confused—and often, all three at once. It happens when school staff use discipline strategies that completely contradict the values a student has…
Rot at the root: Why POPARD must be dismantled from the top down

When I first objected to the strategies POPARD proposed, I tried—truly—to assume good intent: that if I just gave them the right information, the clearest language, the most generous interpretation of their mandate, they would course-correct and stop pushing reward charts onto an already-traumatised child. I wrote careful emails, cited the psychologist’s diagnosis, offered specific…
Dear other mom, I’ve got a few things to say

I know you’re trying not to make it worse. You write the careful email. You show up composed. You give everyone the benefit of the doubt. You try to keep the tone warm, even when your stomach turns. You’re doing everything you can to stay in the conversation—because you believe that if you’re reasonable, they…
How regressive school policies limit inclusion

On the first day of school, it all looked so promising that it seemed almost too good to be true—the hallway bulletin boards overflowed with vibrant slogans about kindness, leadership, and community belonging, while the principal’s welcome message spoke in glowing terms about student voice, shared responsibility, and the promise of a positive school culture…
Restraint and isolation in British Columbia schools

Physical restraint and isolation—sometimes termed “seclusion”—remain legally unregulated in British Columbia schools, even as provincial guidelines seek to limit their use to moments of extreme risk. Physical restraint is defined as any method of restricting a student’s freedom of movement to maintain safety, while seclusion involves involuntary confinement in a space from which the student…

Toxic positivity

End collective punishment in BC schools