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Disabled Parenting

The school system is not designed to support families when the caregiver is disabled or chronically ill. These posts reflect on institutional ableism, neuronormative bias, and the systemic erasure of disabled parents in education. What happens when the person writing the emails, attending the meetings, and asking for help also needs accommodations to participate fully? Here, we trace the invisible labour of disabled caregiving—exhausting, ingenious, and often ignored. The Disabled Parenting Project (DPP), part of the National Research Center for Parents with Disabilities, is a community-led initiative that shares lived experience, challenges systemic discrimination, and generates policy-relevant research by and for disabled parents—including those navigating neurodivergence.

  • Barriers in the Vancouver school system: a parent’s perspective

    Barriers in the Vancouver school system: a parent’s perspective

    For families raising neurodivergent children, navigating the school system can feel like surviving a labyrinth built to exhaust you. What should be a place of growth becomes a terrain of harm and dismissal. Beneath the polished language of equity and inclusion lies a set of invisible barricades—attitudinal, communicative, spatial, systemic, and technological—that quietly erode trust…

  • “Urgent: Third Request” — what to do when schools ignore your emails

    “Urgent: Third Request” — what to do when schools ignore your emails

    You write the email. You name the problem. You describe, in detail, what your child is experiencing and what they need to be able to participate. You’re respectful, clear, and solution-focused. And then—you wait. For many families, especially those raising disabled or neurodivergent children, this scenario is far too familiar. The moment you speak up—especially…

  • Not nothing: on being a parent with feelings in a system that asks for self-erasure

    Not nothing: on being a parent with feelings in a system that asks for self-erasure

    I have spent years trying not to take up space. Years trying not to be “one of those parents”—too loud, too emotional, too self-involved. I have been careful with my tone, careful with my words, careful not to name the hurt when my child was excluded, neglected, or harmed. I told myself: focus on the…

  • Few of us remain our best selves in a room starved of air

    Few of us remain our best selves in a room starved of air

     If you are a parent of a neurodivergent child, you can recite the script before the phone even buzzes. “[Child] had a very good day and really showed leadership with the younger kids” Pause. “But in the afternoon [Child] had some unexpected behaviour. [Child] is waiting at the office.” Praise is meant to help us feel that…

  • Parenting through gaslighting and grief

    Parenting through gaslighting and grief

    In the early days, our relationship was luminous, almost feverishly bright with attention and agreement and what I understood then as love—its intensity, its precision, the way it seemed to reach for every part of me, even the parts I kept hidden, even the ones I feared were too strange or fragile to show. I…

  • What families learn from the inside of exclusion

    What families learn from the inside of exclusion

    We weren’t trained for this. We were not briefed, warned, or prepared. We entered the public school system, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, like most parents do—with trust, with hope, and with a belief, however weathered, in the promise that schools would try to do right by our children. What we didn’t understand was how quickly that…

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