Twins
The experience of parenting twins in a punishing education system—especially when both children are disabled or neurodivergent or both—reveals the institutional limits of recognition, compassion, and complexity. When siblings arrive with simultaneous needs, the system often collapses them into one narrative, one support plan, one allocation of care. This tag gathers writing about the unique forms of erasure, containment, and exhaustion that families of twins face in schools shaped by manufactured austerity. It holds the grief of being asked to choose, the pain of watching one child masked as the other explodes, and the structural refusal to see both as fully human at once.
-
When one child’s support becomes everyone else’s denial
I bring Robin his meals now. I pour a bath periodically, and coax him in, when too many days have elapsed and a funk has grown pungent from him avoiding the sensory assault or the water on his skin. I manage mess, hygiene, and feeding, even though he is a teenager who should be developing…
-
When evidence changes nothing: what 2,842 families reveal about institutional refusal
The International Council of Multiple Birth Organisations published a study in 2020 examining school placement decisions for twins and higher-order multiples across eighteen countries, surveying 2,842 families whose children had attended school for at least one year. The findings confirm what families of multiples already know from lived experience: schools operate placement policies that prioritise…
-
The good twin, the bad twin, and the system that needed both
Before school taught them roles, they played tea party—taking turns serving and being served. Seven years later, I can’t say with certainty whether one would fetch the fire extinguisher if the other caught flame.
-
Double the love, double the discrimination
Public education systems punish families of multiples by forcing impossible choices between their children—often withholding support until one child reaches visible crisis, while the other’s suffering is quietly disregarded. The statistical reality schools refuse to prepare for Schools are rarely prepared for what families of multiples often bring to the classroom: These families often arrive…
-
Drawn and quartered: Sibling trauma, institutional containment, and the erasure of care for families with multiples
When you are the parent of twins—especially autistic/ADHD twins—you learn very quickly that the education system can’t hold both of them at once. Support is rationed. Attention is rationed. Empathy is rationed. The school system does not say this aloud, of course. It claims to treat every child as an individual. But as soon as…