Describing observed behaviour

Describe exactly what you observed and how it affected your child’s ability to participate or succeed.

When support is delayed or denied, the burden often shifts to families to prove that help is needed. Schools may claim a child is “coping fine” or that challenges are “within the expected range.” But families know what happens after school. During shutdowns. In the hallway when no one is watching. Before the day even starts.

Describing observed behaviour is not about diagnosing your child. It’s about providing evidence that the school’s current environment is inaccessible—and that it is affecting your child’s ability to learn, regulate, and feel safe.

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How to use this strategy

Start by describing what you see in clear, simple language. You don’t need clinical terms. You don’t need to interpret the behaviour. You just need to name it.

• What happened?
• When did it happen?
• What triggered it?
• What was the impact?
• What was your child trying to communicate?

Examples:

• “My child curls up under the table and covers their ears when the classroom is loud.”
• “They come home from school with headaches after fluorescent-light days.”
• “They freeze and refuse to enter the building on days when substitute teachers are present.”
• “They cry before bed every Sunday because they know school is coming.”

Then connect those observations to your request. You might say:

“Based on these ongoing responses, we are requesting district assessment of the school environment, along with adaptive equipment or sensory supports to reduce barriers and improve participation.”

Attach what you can:

• Written observations or notes
• Medical or psychological reports linking symptoms to environment
• Photos or descriptions of spaces that create distress
• Input from therapists, specialists, or the child themselves

This isn’t anecdote—it’s evidence. You are showing the cumulative effect of a mismatched environment.

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Ask for district-level action

When classroom teams say they’ve “tried everything,” it’s often not true. They may have tried fidget toys and seating options—but not environmental assessments, structural changes, or district-provided tools.

Use your observations to request:

• Adaptive furniture or sensory tools (e.g., noise-reducing headphones, wiggle cushions, movement breaks)
• Changes to layout, lighting, or class size
• Access to a more appropriate space or program
• A referral to occupational therapy or assistive tech services

If your child cannot participate because of the environment, the school has a legal obligation to provide accommodations. Describing the behaviour is how you help them recognize that obligation.

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What to watch out for

Schools often describe student behaviour in deficit terms: “non-compliant,” “refuses to participate,” “disruptive.” This language frames the child as the problem rather than recognizing the role of the environment.

You don’t need to agree with those labels. And you don’t need to use euphemisms to make your observations more palatable. You can say:

“My child was shaking in the hallway and couldn’t speak after lunch.”
“They shut down when the fire alarm went off, and no one helped them regulate.”
“They scream and claw at the door in the morning because they don’t feel safe at school.”

You are not exaggerating. You are not making it about you. You are telling the truth—and doing what the school should have done: documenting what’s actually happening.

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You are allowed to break down

This is the level where you are allowed to sob. These people are far removed from the daily flow of classroom reality, so it’s important that they know what impact their decisions have on real people.

When you’ve explained what your child needs.
When you’ve described the screaming and hiding and begging not to go.
When you’ve written it all down calmly and clearly—again.
When the school listens politely, nods professionally, and still says, “We don’t see the need.”

This is the point where your composure no longer serves you.
Where your grief isn’t a barrier to advocacy—it is the advocacy.
Because if they truly understood what this was costing your child,
you wouldn’t still be here asking.

You are not overreacting.
You are not being emotional.
You are responding to an environment that continues to harm your child while pretending everything is fine.

You are allowed to cry in the meeting.
You are allowed to raise your voice when your child’s distress is minimized.
You are allowed to name what no one else will write down.

And if the professionals in the room feel uncomfortable, that is not your failure.
That is their mirror.