Perspective taking is the disciplined art of stepping outside one’s own cognitive scaffolding and entering, as fully as possible, into the sensorium of another person. It is not sympathy, which radiates concern from a safe emotional distance, nor is it projection, which mistakes one’s own feelings for universal truth. Instead, it is an intentional, methodical exercise that honours the epistemic authority of the child, the peer, and the family whose experience we seek to understand.
Why perspective taking matters more than policy
Schools abound with policies that invoke inclusion, belonging, and respect, yet these documents rarely translate into felt safety for disabled students. The missing ingredient is attunement. As Lev Vygotsky argued, learning is co‑constructed within the zone of proximal development; if we misread a child’s interior landscape, we cannot scaffold their growth. Perspective taking refines our accuracy. It lets us align support with lived reality, transforming well‑intentioned interventions into relationally coherent practice.
The sensory gateway: seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, moving
Most administrative guidance reduces perspective to intellectual empathy—imagine how they must feel. Yet for neurodivergent students, experience is first sensory, then cognitive. Begin with the body:
- Vision – what visual stimuli crowd the child’s field? Fluorescent flicker, kaleidoscopic bulletin boards, peers in constant motion.
- Audition – what layers of sound converge? HVAC rumble, corridor echoes, pencil taps, whispered gossip, the shriek of the bell.
- Olfaction – what scents intrude? Cafeteria grease, scented markers, another student’s fabric softener, disinfectant in the hallway.
- Proprioception – what is the seating arrangement doing to posture and muscle tone? Does the chair cut circulation? Does stillness hurt?
- Interoception – is the child hungry, anxious, or experiencing a blood‑sugar drop? Internal states pull focus away from lesson goals.
Until staff can articulate these sensory truths, any behavioural interpretation is conjecture masquerading as analysis.
Pedagogical foundations
The foundation of perspective-taking in neurodiversity-affirming education is built on the intertwined work of several psychological and pedagogical leaders who challenged normative paradigms of cognition and relational development. Lev Vygotsky’s sociocultural theory disrupted individualist models of intelligence, arguing instead that learning and development are mediated through social interaction—an insight which deeply informs inclusive classroom practice. Carol Gilligan, with her ethic of care, reframed moral development by centring relational awareness and contextual listening, laying groundwork for more empathetic, child-centred approaches to behavioural interpretation. Meanwhile, the work of Judy Singer and the broader neurodiversity movement shifted the lens entirely—rejecting deficit frameworks and insisting that neurological variation be understood as part of the human spectrum, not as pathology. In clinical psychology, the double empathy problem, articulated by Damian Milton, further dismantled the myth of objectivity in teacher-student relationships, showing that mutual misunderstanding often arises from a clash of neurotypes, not from the failure of one party to read social cues. Together, these thinkers illuminate a radical shift: from managing perceived deficits to cultivating reciprocal understanding, decentring authority, and recognising every learner as a subject with epistemic authority.
Practical protocol: the micro‑cycle of perspective taking
- Pause – notice the urge to interpret. Breathe twice.
- Attend – inventory the sensory environment using the five‑channel checklist above.
- Inquire – ask the student (or their proxy) what they notice, prefer, or fear.
- Reflect – paraphrase their account verbatim before adding your own inference.
- Adapt – adjust environment, instruction, or expectations within the next five minutes.
- Review – after the lesson, document what changed, what stabilised, and what still needs tuning.
This cycle compresses into less than ten minutes with practice, yet its cumulative impact on classroom culture is profound.
Also see:
Bruce Perry’s Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics: His work emphasises regulation before reasoning, attending to physiological and sensory cues before interpreting behaviour. This supports the Pause and Attend stages.
→ The Neurosequential Network
Ross Greene’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS): His model involves listening to a child’s concerns (Inquire), validating their experience (Reflect), and collaboratively adapting expectations (Adapt).
→ Lives in the Balance
Daniel Siegel’s Interpersonal Neurobiology: Siegel’s work on mindsight and co-regulation provides neuroscientific justification for noticing, reflecting, and adapting in response to another’s emotional state.
→ The Mindsight Institute
Universal Design for Learning (UDL), particularly as articulated by CAST, supports reviewing and adjusting the environment to meet learners’ diverse needs in real time.
→ CAST UDL Guidelines
Relational-Cultural Theory, especially from Judith V. Jordan, provides the ethical foundation for listening without dominance, honouring the other’s account before adding one’s own.
→ Wellesley Centers for Women – RCT
An example
Scenario: During silent reading time, Jordan, age nine, suddenly grabs a nearby book, throws it across the room, and yells, “This is stupid!” Several students flinch. The teacher sighs, announces that no one will get their outdoor break until everyone can “follow expectations.”
Old idea – collective punishment: The behaviour is disruptive and unacceptable; the class as a whole must learn accountability. The teacher removes privileges to reinforce control.
New idea – perspective-taking:
- Executive load – Jordan was trying to decode a text well beyond his independent reading level, but couldn’t initiate a help request.
- Cognitive fatigue – Sustained focus depleted his limited self-regulatory capacity, leaving him vulnerable to impulsive release.
- Emotional inhibition – He lacked the tools to name his frustration before it flooded his system.
- Sensory build-up – A flickering light and nearby foot tapping had gradually eroded his tolerance window.
- Social misattunement – Jordan believed others were watching him fail, triggering shame-fuelled defiance.
Adaptation: Assign leveled reading materials; pre-teach help-seeking scripts; offer a fidget under the desk; ensure the lighting is stable; and, above all, respond to dysregulation with co-regulation, not coercion. Result: Jordan completes his reading the next day, then quietly chooses a second book.
Measuring success
Perspective taking is measurable. Track reduction in behavioural referrals, increase in self‑reported student comfort, and frequency of instructional adjustments logged by staff. Publish these indicators alongside academic progress to signal that relational attunement is not extracurricular—it is core business.
Closing note
Perspective taking is both an ethical stance and a practical strategy. It demands humility, sensory curiosity, and the courage to let a child’s truth reconfigure adult certainty. When staff cultivate this discipline, policy flourishes into practice, inclusion ceases to be performance, and school begins to feel—look, smell, and sound—like a place where every nervous system belongs.
-
There’s no such thing as unexpected behaviour
This piece was hard to write. It holds my grief. It documents not only what happened to my child, but how systems made it worse by pretending to be surprised. I share it because too many families are made to carry this alone. Every time I see the phrase unexpected behaviour in a school document, a safety […]
