School is exhausting when you are autistic. The noise of kids and shouting makes it hard to focus. The bright lights in hallways and classrooms overwhelm me and break my brain. When someone speaks, each word feels like a puzzle I must solve. Sometimes it feels like I’m communicating through a sheet of ice!
A few years ago, I joined Nature Club with my friends. I went a couple of times, but I missed many meetings because the school did not give me the support I needed. On difficult days, I could not manage the noise or unpredictability, so I stayed home. My tummy hurts when I don’t get the right help and then I can’t eat. I need check-ins and quiet spaces to cope.
When I returned, I was excited about the end-of-year party for Nature Club. I wanted to spend time with my friends and celebrate. Instead, the teacher told me I had missed too many meetings and could not go. It hurt me deeply. I knew my friend had missed as many sessions, yet I was the only one excluded.
There is nothing I can say to change decisions like that. My words are read as disrespect. My needs are seen as overreaction. It feels like just because I’m neurodivergent, I’m punished. All I wanted was to belong, to receive the support that lets me join in, and to share apple pie with my friends. Being excluded sucks.
