When children are dysregulated, the response from educators is too often punitive. For neurodivergent students in particular, the cost of these responses is high: shame, trauma, social exclusion, and a deep erosion of trust. But it does not have to be this way.
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What can school districts do instead of using collective punishment?
Ending collective punishment isn’t just about eliminating harmful practices—it’s about creating the conditions where punitive responses are no longer seen as necessary. That means shifting from control to care, from blame to relationship, and from scarcity to investment. Here are concrete actions districts…
Restorative alternatives are not new. They are ancient practices found in many Indigenous cultures, rooted in relationship, accountability, and wholeness. What is new is the urgent call to remember them, to restore what we have lost to behavioural compliance and institutional detachment. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada explicitly called for the removal of disciplinary practices that cause harm or humiliation. We have yet to fully answer.
This is not a teacher’s failure. This is a failure of design.
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Engineered famine in public education
In British Columbia schools today, we are not facing a behaviour crisis—we are facing a famine of care. This essay weaves together personal memory, systemic critique, and deep empathy for teachers and families alike to ask why our schools are starving the very…
The dominant models in many schools remain behaviourist: charts, points, red-yellow-green cards, prizes, suspensions, isolation rooms, collective punishment. These are tools designed for control, not connection. And while they may briefly change surface-level behaviour, they do so at the cost of trust—especially for children with trauma histories, sensory differences, or disabilities.
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Why are neurodivergent students more likely to be harmed by collective punishment?
Neurodivergent students—especially those who are autistic or have ADHD—often experience the world with heightened sensitivity. They may communicate overwhelm, fear, or distress through behaviour rather than speech. These responses are not disobedience; they are expressions of unmet needs, sensory overload, or nervous system…
Trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming education requires a different foundation. That foundation is relational safety. Not in theory, but in practice. And that practice must be supported by policy, training, and infrastructure—not left to the goodwill of individual teachers working under impossible conditions.
What restorative practice looks like
In a restorative model, behaviour is not interpreted as a character flaw or a disruption to manage. It is understood as communication. It is seen as information. And it is addressed relationally, not punitively.
| situation | traditional response | restorative response |
|---|---|---|
| student yells at peer | timeout or detention | supported reflection, then peer-supported circle dialogue |
| student refuses to enter classroom | recorded as non-compliant | staff member engages outside the door, exploring sensory or social barriers |
| student repeatedly disrupts lesson | parent call, loss of privileges | co-created support plan, classroom discussion about needs and inclusion |
These responses are not soft. They are strategic. They are grounded in polyvagal theory (Porges), which teaches us that co-regulation and emotional safety are biological prerequisites for learning. They align with the work of Dr. Bruce Perry, who reminds us that we must regulate before we relate, and relate before we reason. They echo the wisdom of Indigenous educators like Jo Chrona, who argue for education as a place of belonging, not extraction.
Children are not the problem
Our children are not broken. The system is. What we are seeing in classrooms is not the failure of a few students to behave, but the failure of schools to adapt. As Nick Walker explains, neurodivergence is not a deficit—it is a variation. When the environment is hostile to that variation, it is the environment that must change.
Autistic children with PDA (pathological demand avoidance) profiles do not resist authority out of defiance—they resist because demands feel like threats. Children with trauma histories are not disruptive—they are trying to navigate a world that has taught them that adults are unpredictable. Restorative justice is not about letting go of boundaries—it is about building them together, in ways that acknowledge power, context, and care.
